After a year on unemployment and almost 5 months since graduating college I am still jobless. I have been on numerous interviews where I’m told either I’m over qualified because of my degree or not enough experience because of my years running an office and not working in a specific computer arena. And too boot I take a state issued test saying I’m smart enough to work on computers and I’m in on a “list” but never hear anything about jobs pertaining to this so-called list. I’m frustrated, worn down, and I’m looking at 4 years of college as a waste of my time and money! We (my husband and I) have nothing left, we’ve gone through savings, 401ks, had a mortgage reduction, borrowing from Peter to pay Paul, etc… Something’s gotta give or my well deserved nervous breakdown isn’t going to be pretty.
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Over the past week I have witnessed the worst cases of emotional blackmail that I have seen in a long time. My two oldest children (15 & 14) are going through a rough patch right now with their other parents. My husband and I have what you would call a blended family; his (15), mine (14) and ours (10).
Now mine (14) just had a blowout with her dad and he has been saying horrible things to her, such as he’s going to put her pets down because he doesn’t have the time or money to take care of them. Also that he’s going to lose his house because the state gives him money for her (yes he’s on welfare) and now that she doesn’t live there he won’t have enough money to pay the bills. She is so emotionally beat up right now she doesn’t want to talk to him. However he is her dad so she has moments when she misses him so she decides to call and of course he starts the emotional manipulation.
The 15 year old wants to spend an extended vacation with us but her mother is making her feel guilty by say she never sees her when she’s at home, she treats her like a ride and a paycheck, she’s sorry she can’t be the fun house, etc… Her mother is also saying that she does not want her to be around my 14yr old’s current drama, like it’s HER fault. My husband tried to reason with his ex but she of course didn’t listen to a word he said.
These two parents do not want to listen to their children at all and throw temper tantrums when they show any signs of independence. I know children shouldn’t dictate the rules but once they reach a certain age they should have some input. Yes they will make mistakes but that is how you learn. I’m thinking these two should meet because they share the same irrational brain. Have these two ever heard of helicopter parenting? http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1940395,00.html
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Over the past 4 years I have been going through an almost silent pain, my daughter decided to live with her father and then he kept her from me. He wouldn’t allow me to see or talk to her until recently. And then my daughter started telling me that everything at home was not all peaches and cream. Now living with her dad for some time I knew what he was like and I hoped that he would be different with his own daughter, I would be wrong in that assumption.
Last week I received a text from her which led to me calling the police (can’t go into detail because of a pending DYFS investigation and my daughters own privacy). So now after all this time she is living with me! Family court has granted me temporary legal and residential custody of her. I am so happy that I think at times I am going to burst. 4 years of missing birthdays, holidays, school events, and other life changing moments, I don’t even know where to begin to heal all of the time that has passed.
Having a teenage daughter at home 24/7 is different from what we are use to. My step-daughter lives at our house on the weekends but she usually does her own thing because her friends live by her moms house. Since my daughter has been home we are on teenage girl overload; shopping, hair, make-up, boyfriends, etc…. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. I know we are in a honeymoon phase right now but why not bask in these moments while they last? Living through the court system for the past 14 years I know next week could be a whole new ballgame.
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My sister Jen and I were having our normal morning gab fest about life in general, when she told me this amazing story. I wanted to share it with the world or the quasi world that reads my blog.
So my sister was on her way to pick up her friends kids from school the other day when her daughter had a seizure. Now to explain a bit my niece has Rett syndrome which makes her suffer from frequent seizures, so my sister knows what to do in these situations. Since my sister was driving she pulled over onto the shoulder, got into the back seat, unbuckled her daughter out of her chair and held her as she had her seizure. As this was happening an elderly couple pulled up behind her, the man got out of the car, came up to the open back door and asked her if everything was alright. She explained the situation and told him that she had everything under control. Well he returned to his car and informed his wife. She then got out of the car, returned to where my sister was in the back seat, didn’t say a word and put her hand on my sisters shoulder and stayed there until my nieces seizure was over. My sister put her back in her seat, buckled her in, and thanked the couple. They said God bless you and your daughter, got in their car and left.
She was so moved by the gesture that it still brought her to tears as she was telling me the story. She could not believe that there were still good people in the world that would take the time to stop and care about someone else’s situation. Also that they stayed until they knew that everything was alright, it blew my sister away. Her opinion on society totally changed in that moment and she wanted to know why something like that was not put on the front page of the paper to give people more hope than despair. She wants to publicly thank them for their compassion and renewing her faith in people again.
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I have been idle the last few weeks when it comes to my blog. However it may be due to the fact that I am happy and have a very full life. Yes I know that may be sickening to some but what the hell I’m going to put it out there. My luck, now that I’ve said it the per verbal shit will hit the fan. I am going to be more pro active now and get the ideas posted at least once a week. Now onto bigger and better things.